There are a number of different strategies that you can try with your child to help them understand their behaviour and make positive changes:
Be a role model for your child – Manage your own behaviour in a way that you would want your child to react. This at times can be difficult as we all lose ourselves but a child likes to be shown the right way to do something.
Show your child how you feel – don’t be afraid to be upset in front of your child.
Actively listening – let your child know you are listening to what they are saying by engaging with them, nod your head and say their words back to them as you have understood them.
Get down to your child’s level – if they are on the floor, sit down with them so that you are the same height, this will take any intimidation away.
Rewards Charts – are a powerful way to help change a child’s behaviour by giving them stickers or points towards a reward when the do something or behave in way that you would like them to. It helps to reinforce the behaviour that you want and helps the parent/carer to focus on the positives in a child’s behaviour.
ABC Model – Understanding where misbehaviour comes from which allows you to identify triggers, actions to combat the misbehaviour and the consequences.
Complete objectivity – Remaining calm, neutral and level headed when you are dealing with a child’s misbehaviour is a way of helping to calm the situation and can signal to the child that you are trying to understanding the behaviour in order to help them.
Consistent approach to consequences and rewards – the key is to remain consistent, whether that is in your rewarding of good behaviour or trying to manage inappropriate behaviour. You must treat every child the same. If you warn a child of a consequence you need to follow this through. The same applies for rewarding good behaviour. This will help the parent/carer to remain in control and will help to manage the behaviour better in the future.
Family rules – this is a good way of setting out what is expected of a child in terms of their behaviour and can link in with a rewards chart. Make sure to include the child in what rules are formed, this will give them a feeling of being listened too. You then explain the consequences if the rules are not kept.
Offer praise for positive behaviour – offering praise and positive feedback for god behaviour can help a child’s self-esteem and help to change attitudes and/or behaviour.